


Jet Pack Blues

by Super_Blue



Series: How the Avengers finally become a family. (and how they all revolve around Peter parker) [1]
Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, Spider-Man: Homecoming (2017), The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Anorexia, Anxiety, Cutting, Depression, Fluff and Angst, M/M, OOC, Peter Parker Needs a Hug, Precious Peter Parker, Tony Stark Has A Heart
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-05
Updated: 2019-01-05
Packaged: 2019-10-05 02:11:55
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,269
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17316107
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Super_Blue/pseuds/Super_Blue
Summary: TW: cutting, anorexia, depression, anxiety, blood.Peter is sensitive and finds the only way to make the pain in his heart and head go away is to feel pain on his body.





	Jet Pack Blues

**Author's Note:**

> Hoping to make this a series but if you know the artist behind the title I'll write you a fic of your choice.  
> Please enjoy!

Peter has always been a sensitive kid. It took him years to get over Flash and other kids picking on him. As well as to get over his parents’ death. And then when everything seemed to become normal and life was easy again, he got bitten by a radioactive spider. And to make things ten times worse he saw his one and only father figure die right before his eyes.

So when Tony Stark, his idol, his childhood hero, told him he wasn’t good enough to be Spiderman or his mentee, Peter broke. After the events of his Homecoming Peter went home with a few fractured ribs (most of them were broken), a shattered collarbone, several gashes in his chest, and a sprained ankle. He didn’t tell May. And the next day he didn’t tell Ned or MJ. He simply decided he just needed to walk it of himself.

Then Happy was in the school bathroom and Tony wanted to talk to him. He nearly cried because he thought he had done something wrong again. But then Tony invited him to be an Avenger. And suddenly everything was ok again. Accept it wasn’t. Tony was inviting him over for lab days all the time. MJ and May found out about Spiderman and he could talk freely about it with them and Ned. He was happy. Or at least he should be. But Peter just couldn’t find it in himself to be completely happy anymore. He couldn’t find it in himself to trust anyone either. Or to have what little confidence he already did outside of Spiderman.  
He found himself being reckless. Not looking before shooting his webs at buildings. Jumping in front of gunshots instead of moving people out of the way. Not looking before he crosses the street. 

Then one night he was stabbed by a mugger. He looks down at the wound and instead of screaming in pain or even whimpering he simply pulls the knife strait back out. No trembling hands no gasps or noises at all. Because for the first time in months his head is clear. For the first time in months he finally stops hearing the voices in his head telling him he’s useless and fat. For the first time in months the streetlights aren’t to bright and the noises of the city aren’t to loud.

Of course he goes home and May takes one look at him and calls Tony. And just like that Tony comes and the pain is gone and its all back again. And Peter decides he needs that pain back. He needs any pain back. Because the pain in his body seems to be the only thing that can stop the pain in his heart and head.

Peter found it easy to hide his conditions. He cut only on his inner thighs and stomach because he would probably never a crop top or shorts. He’s considered emo for a reason. Plenty of people have thought he was cutting before because he always wears a hoodie but he always shows them he doesn’t. And he’s a Smart Boi TM. So if anyone were to ask he would still be able to show them and prove him wrong.  
\-------------------------------------------------------------------------  
He also finds that when he’s not in pain, listening to the voices makes them quiet down a little. Its quite easy to starve himself and loose weight thanks to Spiderman. His metabolism and exorcise routines mean eating three regular meals a day is like eating nothing for a normal person. Which he sometimes manages to do when no one is paying attention. 

But one day someone notices. And its not anyone who he thought would.

“Hey Parker!” Peter groans as Flash calls out to him. Probably to harass him.

Their in PE, with basically the whole decathlon team and a few others because that’s just their luck. Flash runs over to where Peter is on the other side of the boys locker rooms about to dress out into sweatpants and a school permitted T-shirt and hoodie.

Peter sighs when Flash reaches him. “What do you want?”

“I need to talk to you.” Flashes voice sounds urgent. “In private.”

Peter looks around to find their the last ones in the locker room. “We are in private dipshit.”

Flashes face uncharacteristically reddens. “Hey I’m trying to be nice here. Give me a break this is serious.”

“For the first time in forever ~ “ Peter sings jokingly. Which earns him a light smack to the arm. “Ow ok ok. What do you want?”

“Well you see, I-uh-Well- You don’t- you don’t look to good.” Flash stammers.

“Thanks goodbye.” Peter attempts to leave but is stopped by a hand wrapping around his bicep. 

“That’s not what I meant and you know it. I just- I don’t know how to say this.” Flash looks down at his shoes and shuffles his feet. Not letting go of Peters arm.

“What’s gotten into you? What’s wrong?” Peter turns back and looks at Flash intently. Looking for an signs of injury.

“What’s wrong? I should be asking you that! You-You look like you’ve dropped fifty pounds! You don’t smile like you used to! And you don’t talk as much! What’s going on?” Flash finally looks up into Peters eyes as if looking for an answer.

Peter stares back coldly, scared someone might have finally noticed his problems. “Why do you care all of a sudden?” Peters voice is void of emotion and his posture suddenly shows hostility.

Flash looks taken aback as he takes a second to search his mind for the answer. “Be-Because I-I don’t have anything to make fun of you for? Um- right-yeah. Your-Your quiet now so it seems out of place when I make fun of you so-so-so I decided to find out what’s wrong so that things can go back to normal.” 

“Well then I guess its none of your business then. Goodbye” Peter turns to leave and Flash lets him.  
\----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
The next person to notice is also kinda unexpected. Happy usually doesn’t talk to the kid much but when he does its short and sometimes grumpy. Peter used to joke that they should have named him grumpy instead of Happy.

But after a couple months of picking Peter up from school every few days Happy began to notice things. At first they were easy things to fix. Like the kid to yelled mean names at Peter as he walked up to the car.

“Is that kid giving you problems?” He asked after Peter got into the car that day.

“It’s no big deal.” Peter had answered.

“That wasn’t a denial.” Happy sassed.

“But it was a dismissal of the subject.” Peter sassed back.

“Can I do something about it?” Happy glanced back at the rearview mirror to check on Peter who was curled up reading a book.

The kid chuckled “like what?”

“I’m Tony Starks personal bodyguard for a reason kid.” 

“Really? I thought he just liked you?” Happy could hear the smirk in Peters voice.

“Haha. But seriously kid. At least let me tell Tony.” Happy returned to seriousness as they pulled up to the compound.

“Thanks Happy but no. Like I said it’s not a big deal. Lots of people do it and I’m used to it.” Peter got out of the car and walked up to the Avengers/Happy/Pepper/Family of the Avengers entrance.

Dew to Peters previous statement, Happy to Tony anyways.  
\-----------------------------------------------------  
After the first two Peter tried to be a bit more careful. But it was only a matter of time until Tony noticed.

And when he did he was a lot calmer than expected. 

“Peter tell me the truth,” Tony had started while they were working peacefully in the lab.

“Of course Mr. Stark.” Peter responded as usual.

“Are you ok?” Peter froze and hunched a little more over the work desk.

“Why wouldn’t I be?”

“You just seem.. distant and quiet lately. And I asked Friday about it and she said your displaying signs of severe depression and-and I’m worried about you kid. If somethings bugging you then you need to tell me. You can always tell me anything and I’ll listen. You know that right?” After Tony’s little speech Peter was shocked silent. He didn’t know what to do. Does he trust Tony and talk to him or does he keep on playing dumb and act like nothings wrong.

His instincts were telling him to go with the first option but his head was telling him to choose the second. So he compromised. “I’m fine Mr. Stark. I guess I just haven’t been feeling so great recently. I think I am coming down with something and I don’t like to be sick.”

Peter left that day feeling like he had done a good job at keeping Tony’s worries at bay. But as soon as he left Tony began to converse with his favorite AI.  
“He was lying wasn’t he?” He asked almost as soon as he was sure Peter was out of hearing range.

“Yes Boss.”

“Do you know what could be going on?”

“I have picked up even clearer signs of depression by doing a scan of his body.”

“What did-what did you find?”

“Multiple wounds from blades on his abdomen and inner thighs at varying degrees of severity and healing. The earliest ones I could find were from around three months ago.”

“And the latest.”

“It’s hard to say with his healing factor but my best guess would be this morning.”

“Thanks Fri.”  
\------------------------------------------------  
Tiny decided to confront Peter during one of his sleep overs at the compound. 

“Hello Peter how was your day?” Friday had greeted the teen as he was dropped off at the compound.

“It was good. Can you tell Tony I’m here?”

“Boss is already on his way down. He has ordered take out and said to pick a movie and meet him in the lounge."

“Thanks Fri.”

“Of course Peter.”

“When Peter got to the lounge Tony was already there on the couch with blankets and pillows waiting for him.

“So I was thinking tonight would be all about pillow forts and movies and then tomorrow we can play in the lab. How does that sound?” Tony said without looking up.

“Hi Mr. Stark. That sounds great.” Peter dropped his backpack off at the table and the walked over to help Tony set up a pillow fort.

“Hey kid.” Tony greeted before they became lost in working on the fort.

By the time the food arrived they had a massive fort made from couches pillows and blankets. It could fit them, two coffee tables, and the TV. Soon Tony had paid for the food and they were comfortable in their fort eating and watching movies.

After the second movie ended Tony decided it was time to man up and ask Peter some questions. He had spent the whole week hoping Friday had been wrong about the scans. But that was highly unlikely and he knew it.

“Peter I need to talk to you about something and it’s vary important.” Tony said as he turned off the TV.

“What’s wring Mr. Stark?” Peter turned to Tony looking genuinely concerned.

Tony tried to make his heart stop beating so fast as he started asking his questions and hoping to get the answers he wanted.

“Look Peter I want you to know before we start this conversation that I’m not judging you at all. I’m the last one to judge about unhealthy coping mechanisms. And I know things have been a bit rough since your homecoming, but I want you to know you can trust me. More than anything I want you to be happy and healthy. So I’m worried about you Peter. You haven’t been smiling as bright and before I tell you this I want you to know I wasn’t looking for it and trying to invade your privacy. I-I know you’ve been harming yourself.” Tony finally stopped to take a breath and look at Peter who was on the verge of tears.

“H-h-how do you kn-ow!” Peter’s voice trembled, and Tony’s heart broke a little more with each word.

“Friday told be you were hurt and that they seemed self-inflicted. I-I got so worried about you Peter. We can find a therapist or even just tell May and we can talk about it and help you. I want to help you Peter.” Peter finally let his barricade fall at that last statement.

“I-I don’t f-f-feel right! I c-can’t make myself happy anym-m-more! And-and the voices in my head tell me mean things and everything is always to much be-because of my senses and the-the only thing that makes it all ok it pain. It-it’s the only thing that clears my mind. I-I don’t-t know what to do!” Peter collapsed onto Tony’s chest and Tony held him tight.

“It’s gonna be ok. We’re gonna be ok.” Tony reassured.  
\---------------------------------------------------  
Tony was right. Things got better. After an emotion rollercoaster of telling May and Ned so he had people to talk to, Peter started seeing a therapist. Paid for by Tony and top of the line. They found that the voices in his head and the overwhelming intensity of his senses went away while he was doing certain things with Tony. Like messing around in the lab or making pillow forts. Same goes with May, Ned, and MJ. Doing certain things that he found he enjoyed allowed him to tune all the bad things out. 

He started eating more and being happy. And suddenly, after months of suffering, everything was ok again.


End file.
